My boyfriend, age 56 had Colon Cancer, stage 4. He was diagnosed in August, 2019 after an emergency trip to the hospital where he had emergency surgery to remove a 5cm size tumor. It had already spread to his liver and lungs. He refused Chemo and decided to try alternative therapies. They told him he only had 6-8 months to live without chemo, but up to 3 years with chemo (my research came up with an average of 1 year with chemo). After his PET scan in September the oncologist told him he would be dead by Christmas if he didn't start chemo right away. He lived a total of 14 months after his diagnosis, and probably would have lived longer if Hospice hadn't murdered him.

Up until April of 2020 he was improving and feeling great, but after coming down with a "virus" in May, which I now believe was Covid, he started to deteriorate very quickly. By September he was in a lot of pain and was needing blood transfusions and was having problems breathing which ended up in a few trips to the ER. We were looking at 3 different cancer clinics to possibly start IPT (low dose chemo) considering his current condition. He was still walking around and very much wanting to continue the fight.

A family member suggested he call in Hospice to help him with housekeeping, cooking, and with his daily supplement treatments. I was pretty sure that wasn't what Hospice was all about, but I told him to go ahead and call and talk to them to see what they had to offer. The nurse came to the house on Wednesday, 9/9 to discuss signing him up. She promised him pain meds that would make him very "comfy"...and stressed the fact that after looking over his records that he was very close to death. The doctor at the hospital a few days earlier had mentioned that he should start chemo or he might not be here in another 3 months, so I'm thinking without any additional treatments, he probably would have had at least 3 more months. I asked a lot of questions, and after discussing the fact that once he were to sign up with Hospice he wouldn't have access to any more curative care, which meant he wouldn't be getting his blood transfusion on Friday, 9/11. He decided he wasn't ready for hospice and refused to sign the paperwork. I'm guessing that the nurse wasn't too happy about not getting her admission. She advised him to go ahead and start taking his oxycodone again that he had left over from an ER visit from a few months earlier. She said it would be fine to take with his other pain meds. I realized weeks later that it wasn't compatible with the other pain meds he had been taking. The very next night I believe he took the oxycodone with his other pain meds (on her advice) at about 3am Friday morning. His son checked on him about 8am for his doctor's appointment and couldn't wake him up. He was still alive, but I now believe he had overdosed unintentionally because of taking the wrong combination of painkillers. The hospice nurse had also stressed that "if anything were to happen" that they should not call 911, but to call her instead. She even wanted the blue DNR paper (that he had to sign at the hospital) posted on his fridge. So, his kids complied. They didn't call 911. They called the hospice nurse.

The hospice nurse wanted to start him on Morphine every 2 hours right away. He had started to come around, but was only awake for a couple of minutes at a time before falling back into a partial coma. When he was awake, he mentioned that all of his pain was gone. Other than a small bed sore, he had NO pain, so I suggested that they give his body a break and hold off on the morphine. His daughter was in nursing school, so she agreed. He went a couple of days without the Morphine and was starting to improve. He was bed bound, but he was becoming more alert and his blood pressure was improving (the nurse stopped taking his blood pressure when it started going back up). It ended up going from 60/40 back up to 120/80 within the next week.

The hospice nurses finally convinced the kids to start giving him the morphine on Sunday night, 9/13. The next 3+ weeks would be a roller coaster ride of him going back into a partial coma every time they increased the morphine. She convinced everyone early on that I should be left out of the decision making (I was asking too many questions).

I understand now, after the fact, all of the tactics she used to convince the kids to give him the morphine. She would say things like "oh look, he is furrowing his brow...that means he's in pain. He needs more morphine." Or "Oh, I didn't pull off his oxygen to hurry things along....he just looked uncomfortable". She also suggested all food and water be stopped when he started throwing up. I realized later that he was constipated and nauseous from the morphine, but she said it was another tumor blocking his colon and that no food was able to pass through. He had been able to pass a little, but we didn't realize the morphine had been making him constipated, and of course she didn't tell us.

9/26 He was having a really good day. Very alert and wanted to get off hospice and start doing his curative treatments again. He was a little emotional, so the hospice nurse said he needed some Ativan (anti depressant), and that he really should get back on an every 2 hour medication schedule, so the kids agreed. That night he was back in a coma and it was the beginning of the end. He lungs began to fill with fluid from the medications and it became harder for him to breathe. He passed away on 10/6 from suffocation. Those last couple of hours he looked terrified as he was gasping for breath. It was not a pleasant way to die.

The greatest potential tragedy about all of this is that if the hospice nurse had succeeded in killing him within that first week, he would not be in heaven today. He was not a believer, but 2 weeks into his hospice ordeal, he accepted Jesus and he let me baptize him. God showed me a few weeks after he passed that he is in heaven. It was incredible. God's pure love was pouring out of him. I've never experience that kind of love before.

I do believe that is the general goal of some of these "protocols". Kill people before they have a chance to come to know Jesus. Many people come to know Jesus on their death bed, but if you put them in a coma and/or kill them quickly, then they don't have that chance.

Colorado Springs, CO